[VIDEO GAME/AUDIOBOOK] Dryad's Wrath: The Riftkey Chronicles Book 1 2
Delvin for Eureon Rath (Book 3, December 2021)
Assassin. He and his brother Andralus hunt Sleepwalkers, in hopes they can return the soul of their sister, Eulalia, to her body. Eureon owns the mansion of his late parents and has a soft spot for mistreated servants, often bringing them home after finding them on missions and offering them jobs and shelter. Prefers twin short rapiers, does not use magic. Traits: Intelligent, smooth, logical, motivated, passionate.
Ah, ah, ah. Keep that voice down, or I’ll remove it. Now. The key.
Now, I’m sure you’ve lost plenty of blood, but I really need to know EXACTLY where this key is. He has more bolts. There are plenty of places to shoot you without killing you. Very painful places.
How would you like to work for me, instead? My servants do not want for praise, and the living and working conditions are considerably better.
While I like the tone, the delivery is VERY rushed. Slow it down. You're in a position of power and you're not surrendering it anytime soon. You want to draw out your quarry's fear, give their overactive imagination time to concoct all sorts of horrible scenarios until they break and give you the info you want. The last line is to a rescued castle maid, who was about to be abused at the hands of your target before you interrupted. Calm. Measured. Patient. Precise in timing. These are what Eureon, an assassin, embodies.
Thank you for the feedback! I keep reminding myself to slow down, then forgetting. Is it okay if I submit another try?