Starting up again, new casting call for multiple projects!
Vladibear for Crooked Spine
Real name is Cobb Angus, he is a crooked spinal column with a pelvis at the base and wearing a fedora on top. He appears to float a few inches above any surface he's standing on. The fact that he's crooked may or may not be the true reason he's at the Hospital. Crooked Spine carries a briefcase with him that contains items for sale. "Everything in his briefcase is basically just dug out of garbage". Although he lacks grasping appendages, he is still able to open the briefcase and handle the items without touching them. -wiki
[Pretty much the sleaziest business person you could think of, somewhere between car salesman and Mafioso.]
[Luring Fern in with mock pain before going full blown salesman]
"Ohhhh the pain! Oh, agony! Can there be NO RELIEF from this UNBELIEVABLE agony!
OH, the pain! THE PAIN OF IT ALL!
...The pain of sitting on all THESE INCREDIBLE LIMITED-TIME OFFERS!
LORD ALMIGHTY, WILL NOBODY RELIEVE ME FROM THE BACK-BREAKING DUTY OF HOLDING ONTO ALL THESE ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME BARGAINS!? IS THERE NO RESPITE, NO BACKING OUT FROM THE TORMENT OF CARRYING SUCH A BROAD SELECTION OF BRAND-NAME QUALITY PRODUCTS AT BLOWOUT PRICES!?
BUY NOW, AND YOU'LL RECEIVE NOT ONE, NOT TEN, BUT TWO COMPLIMENTARY GIFTS AT ALMOST NO EXTRA CHARGE TO YOU, THE VALUED CUSTOMER. THESE TORTUROUSLY AGONIZING DEALS HAVE TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED!"
[Hadn't stopped talking since last time she visited.]
"...uy now, you'll receive one HAMMERSPACE brand disappearing/reappearing collector's tote with compartments for approximately TEN that's TEN distinct concepts of any weight and volume DO NOT ATTEMPT MULTIPLE CONCEPTS PER COMPARTMENT HAMMERSPACE INC. AND ITS SUBSIDIARIES CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR SPATIAL PROLAPSE, VECTOR LEAKAGE OR CONE INTRUSION WITHIN KNOWN PERCEPTION LAYERS!"
[Hamming it up, even with a fake echo]
"THESE SAVING Savings...(savings)...((savings))... W-W-W-WON'T LAST!!!!"
Thanks again for the auditions. Indeed a very enjoyable one to listen to, spot on for a sleazy businessman.