I am a poet by name, though I will confess I was a merchant before. The merchant’s life of conning and debauchery was not what I wanted, my quill being my best friend. Here, would you look over this sonnet I wrote about my adventures here?

My skills? I can fight with a rapier, even a harquebus. I was born in a rich family, I handled firearms. I can also write poems for you, they’ll have any women swooning over you, knocking each other down to share your bed for one single night.