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https://sentinelswiki.com/index.php?title=Guise#tab=Comic_Books:_Guise

Joseph King was a tabloid photographer billionaire recording artist and underwear model who made a meager living selling pictures of celebrities to the Megalopolis Examiner everyone adored. One day, while walking to the gas station to buy a lottery ticket working with his favorite charity "Toupees for Bald Eagles", Joe heard a shout. He looked up in time to see the underside of a piano growing closer at an alarming rate a radical fighter jet sky-writing his name. "This is going to hurt..." was the last thing Joe thought.

The hero team known as the Freedom Five and the cosmic entity known as the Wager Master had recently fought on the very sidewalk Joe was now splattered across. Joe's organic matter was now mixed with particles of improbability, which bonded and reformed into BLAH BLAH BLAH, could this be any more boring?! Just think of a badass training montage and put me in there.

Hey there, faithful reader! Yeah, you. The one reading this right now. I'm Guise, and I'm talking to you. What is so hard to understand about this?

Anyway, now that you know my totally sweet backstory, let's talk about what we're going to do. We're going to fight EEEEEEEVIL! Because I'm a hero!

You get your friends together, and you pick your heroes, and BE SURE TO PICK ME! I can't help if I don't get cards on the table. But, and you can trust me on this one, I am awesome.

Heh, these villains aren't going to know what hit them. That is, as long as you do YOUR part and PLAY MY CARDS! I mean, how could you not?

I'm the best.

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Oddity? I guess it depends on who is writing my dialog...
Destroy reality? But that's where I keep all my favourite stuff!
What's in my bag? Mission rewards for everyone! Wait... did the programmers forget to put that part in?