"Ichigo-Sama loves life!" Casting Call
mamamemo for Mayu-Chan
Mayu-Chan is the annoyingly cute and high-pitched (best) friend of Ichigo. Mayu was a close friend of Ichigo back in highschool, since Ichigo was the only one who would talk to her... Now, a senior in highschool, Mayu is one of the most popular girls in school.
I want her to sound very, VERY cliché. She needs to sound like the Protagonist to a shoujo anime.
"Hey, Ichigo-!"
*Attempts to cross the street to reach Ichigo, but notices she's quickly walking away*
"WAAAIT-! ICHIGO-! WHERE ARE YOU GOOIIING-!?"
*Smiles at the cashier*
"Just a macaroon for me, thanks..."
"Woah-!!"
*Trips and falls on concrete face first, toast falls out of mouth*
"Agggh... D*mn these typical shoujo anime clichés..."
Could you redo the first part? What's happening in the scene is that Mayu notices Ichigo at the opposite end of the crosswalk, and after calling out to her, Ichigo attempts to flee and avoid contact. Mayu is stuck on the other side because the light is still red, so she's confused as to why Ichigo is running away from her. You stretched the "WAAAIT-! ICHIGO-! WHERE ARE YOU GOOIIING-!?" part too far out, and it sounds like mayu is trying to talk to someone who is right beside her, compared to someone who is running away from her on the opposite side of the street. Other than that, everything else was perfect ^O^ If you could just redo that first part, I'd appreciate it :3
I suppose I can do that, no problemo~ Thank you for the feedback! I'll get to that tomorrow morning