MLP Fanfiction: An Unfortunate Daily Occurrence [short, stupid]
Thomas Heath for Anon
The resident hyoo-man, Bon Bon's determined suitor {so she's married. Minor detail}. Rather awkward, utterly shameless and all around a ridiculous sight. Overacting is highly encouraged.
[shouting from the lawn at Bon Bon, the mare you're smitten with]
“I can’t, you breath-taking beauty.” The hyoo-man replied, voice barely audible over the music. “The day isn’t complete without me worshiping the very ground you walk on! I also really need that date we keep talking about!”
[Lyra: “Maybe you could even stuff something up his butt.”]
“I’m not a hundred percent down for that but I won’t give you a hard no.”
[you're on your knees in the pouring rain, a boombox playing a passionate song raised high above your head, deperately calling out to your One True Love. Let the power of the Eighties flow through you]
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN--” [the other “BOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! is interrupted by an act of violence]