[Wilson's strategy for dealing with an imminent invasion] Pathetic! They aren’t ready to invade they’re just playing a game of brinksmanship. We should escalate the situation further by invading the South immediately.

[Wilson describing the progress of a rifle KJU suggested he design] The rifle… yeah… completely made of snow. It makes perfect sense, develop a rifle that is made of our most abundant natural resource. Unfortunately, we are having problems with firing, stability, propulsion and summer storage.

We have developed a beam-emitting weapon that causes severe confusion among those it has hit. Targets are unable to respond to command and behave erratic and unpredictably. It’s a wide area weapon and could easily hit an entire division. Unfortunately, if the beam hits a severely stupid person, they become massively intelligent, so intelligent that they become a dangerous person to have in an opposing army.