MLP Fanfiction Audiobook: "Mythic Dawn" by MagnetBolt
jojobatree for Phantasma Gloom
Rather subdued, mostly due to her childhood and iffy heritage. Has been bullied and ostracized for most of her life and generally distrusted by most ponies outside the School of Friendship, she tends to carry herself and talk in a way that hopefully does not attract attention and even in dialogue where she's at ease, she remains somewhat subdued.
Approx. 3000 words total.
“No, no, they’re really great!” Phantasma assured her. “Actually I’m pretty new at the school, and it’s just hard figuring out how to talk to ponies. This is the most I’ve talked to a pony in… in… practically forever!” She laughed nervously. “Sorry. I’m probably being weird or creepy…”
"And that’s not even the worst thing…”
[“What was the worst thing?”]
“Every year, they celebrate the Crystal Faire, everypony in the Empire coming together in love and harmony. It empowers the Crystal Heart and protects the Crystal Empire and every single year I spent the Faire in bed with a fever so high they thought I might die. And you know why? Because the Crystal Heart repels evil, and somewhere deep inside, that means me!”
Phantasma tapped her chin. “Or they didn’t want to live in a tent. I’ve gone camping a few times and it’s not as fun as you’d think. Especially in the frozen north. Mostly you just stay near the campfire and hope the other foals don’t put rocks in the snowballs they throw at you.”
It's not bad, but I think {I am not an expert, so take this with a grain of salt!} you might be focusing on crisp enunciation that it's getting in the way of your pacing and tone. There's nothing wrong with having words flow into each other, and it often helps support the emotion being conveyed. Here's an example of how I'd do the lines, though that's just an example. https://vocaroo.com/kUgSDijVMnx
Thank you so much for the feedback! Would it be alright for me to submit another application for Phantasma?
Go ham! I'm not sure how CCC works with multiple auditions and stuff, but if need be, you can record it on something like Vocaroo and send me a link.
Thank you so much! For the second chance and the opportunity! I will try my best