That fair, it helps to mark up the script in rehearsal to see where you want to breathe and what underlines/emphases to help you get them out as you record and not have to just remember. The frequent downward inflection and sentence endings make it harder to believe this is being said TO people and not AT them. Harder on your momentum building and delivery variance too. Keep the listener as a live person in front of you and talk to them, convince them, and it'll break out of that feeling. Good job :)