Mystery Pinkie Pie Theater 3000 (guest riffers)
Project Overview
DISCLAIMER: By continuing on, you are acknowledging that a sizable percentage of the content in this series is inappropriate for younger audiences. You understand that, even for lower-rated stories (ie. Teen and Everyone rated), the comments of the riffers themselves can sometimes be subject to vulgar language and other inappropriate themes (relating to drugs, sex, violence, etc.). If your mind happens to snap from the sheer badness of some of the fanfics , then I cannot be held liable for your suffering; it's your own damn fault for agreeing it, ya dink. Caveat lector, gentlemen. For everyone else who CAN handle this, please proceed onwards...
A hack author, Twilight, and Rarity, find themselves trapped in the author's studio by pranksters Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. The duo's cunning plan? To get some laughs out of forcing these three to read fanfiction against their will! How will the trio survive? Why, with snide commenting of course!
An MST is basically a read-through of a story by a bunch of characters who insert snarky remarks throughout the story in the same style as the show Mystery Science Theater 3000. This method of making snarky comments is also known as "riffing", or a "riff". Check Google. You'll find a ton more info there.
Every story riffed is a request.
ANYTHING can be riffed! Whether the story be good or bad, funny or serious, so if you wish to be part of the MPPT3K team you need to be ok with anything from grimdark/gore to porn YOU MUST HAVE NO SHAME!. jokes are inserted frequently enough to make them feel less awkward but still I just wanted to let you guess know what we are getting into..
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csPPqdbcVwM
A very delicate unicorn who is very good at fashion design. one of the frequent victims of pinkies pranks alongside twilight and the author. a major drama queen and an egoist who doesn’t realize that she’s an egoist. Despite her shortcomings (snippy tendencies and a holier-than-thou attitude), Rarity is kind and generous overall.
Help! I'm trapped in a horror story! I know because I'm strapped down which always happens in these things!
We are here to mourn the passing of Pinkie Pie, who, unfortunately, had an idea explode in her head.
*furious* What did I think? What did I THINK? I've been waiting all story to rant, and I'll start by saying that this atrocious piece of writing can go fu-
‘Robin, we’re comic book characters! Why should we care about good writing and character development?’
Damn that Penguin!’ he bellowed, ‘Damn him to the fiery pits of Hades! What a miserable piece of criminal scum he is! Even his name is an insult! The Penguin! Penguins are cute and fluffy and I loathe all things adorable with every fibre of my being! The world is a lugubrious place of agony and suffering! What room is there for “cute”?’
I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN, I can do whatever I want! Let’s see how those well-developed characters do against my well-developed fists!’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYwqtylZjKQ
The quietest and shyest pony in town...unless you get on her bad side, which rarely happens, thankfully. Fluttershy, as her name implies, has a hard time adjusting to new ponies, but she's a great friend in the end.
Oh, I'm sorry. I just... I just had this horrible dream! I was stuck reading some story that had me in love with Twilight! Can you believe it?
*Spits out coffee she was drinking*... When did we get coffee?
C'mon, he deserves another chance! After all, *creepy monotone* he is the best writer on FiMfiction.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4O1sbA0KQs
Spike is a young dragon in the care of Twilight, who hatched him when he was in an egg. Like any small child, he is often curious, loud-mouthed, and at times snarky which makes him the perfect riffer. Spike is the host of this universe's version of mystery science theater 3000 known as mystery magic theater 3000( yes, a mystery science theater parody within a mystery science parody how very meta of me!)
Are you kidding? I'm a regular model for Playfilly. The mares love dragon on dragon!
As if! I eat candy all the time and I'm fine! Oh, hold on, I lost sight of my toes again..
Meh. I've read worse. You should've seen the riff I had to do with the story "Twenty pounds of semen and Four Loko".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxhE2r59kD8
Trixie, who usually refers to herself in the third person (third pony?) is a traveling magician. Her headstrongness makes Rarity’s ego look like nothing. Although Trixie is a talented illusionist, she is mostly hot air when it comes to magic, especially when compared to Twilight.
You can just shut your trap! Trixie should write a story about YOU! It would be a whimsical tale called Twilight Sparkle and the Glue Factory!
Careful force? Applejack? Hah! She's trying to murder Trixie, not perform plastic surgery!
TRIXIE WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF BOTH OF YOU WOULD SHUT UP!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKw1t-1MXoA
Celestia's stern sister, who, although a benevolent alicorn, often doubts the skills of the little ponies that she and her sister rule over.
I was unaware there was a "beer garden" in Ponyville. Author, would you mind accompanying us one of these days so we may mingle with the citizenry?
LITTERING?! Only the most pathetic of scum would dare leave a piece of trash lying alongside the road!
Forsooth! I've hit my head upon said object!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYV0tnRe-i4
A normal unicorn from Canterlot before she met her friends at Ponyville. Often a target of Pinkie and Rainbow's pranks alongside Rarity and Author. Twilight is extremely bright, adorably dorky, and incredibly neurotic, often panicking over the smallest issues. Most importantly, she is a good friend.
Me? A BABY? Damn it, Pinkie, hand me that knife, and let me show you how to REALLY torture me!
Gimme an F! Gimme a U! What does that spell?!
WHAT?! I CAN’T HEAR YOU BECAUSE IT’S SO SILENT!
(please read the lines as written mispronouciations and all )
It's Morgan Freeman need i say more?
a very special narrator for our reading of the spiderses.
they started to have spider sex and it felt rely wieird for twilight but twilight nevr even had normal regualr pony sex so spider sex was the weirdest most strage thing ever. it was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence and i dont know wer this metaphor goesing. amynore.
chpapter three: spiderday
Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that spiders are creepy, but being a spider is better than being dead. Your faithful studnt, Twilight Spackle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaAZ_OyUFzQ
A rough-and-tumble pony who lives a simple lifestyle down on an apple farm. Applejack might not be exactly book-smart, but she shows a good amount of common sense in comparison to her friends sometimes. Her only real flaw is her stubbornness.
Based on ma farming expertise, I predict that that there seed is gonna grow into a nice, healthy tree!
We are here today to mourn the passin’ of Twilight Sparkle, who died in a way that, for some reason, her family did not want to bring up.
C’mon, lay off the poor pony, she just suffered a traumatic experience!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfLQHW3_qVw
An alicorn, Celestia rules over her little ponies and does her best to keep everypony happy and content. Despite being royalty, she often encourages her subjects to relax with jokes and gentle questions. She also shows great patience with any inappropriate behavior towards her,
If you can read this, then you aren't drunk enough.
I prefer jägerbombs myself.
Luna, I love you dearly, but take your trap and shut it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5ZGsFB1ufQ
the Spirit of chaos and disharmony. Discord is an insane trickster god who after having spent a thousand imprsioned in stone is now free thanks to the chaos generated by the riffing crew and has decided to hijack the show for his own amusement.
Ah, perfect timing. (turns to the readers) Hello everpony and human on the internet! As you all know, I am the king of chaos himself, Discord. You may be wondering why I’m here; well, I’ll tell you. You see, I’m a bit... bored with the ‘normal’ riffing, so I’m going to liven things up a bit. I hope you enjoy!
Your praise give me power! Feed me mindless masses!
Well, it seems that Pinkie and you forced so many pranks on the Author and other ponies, that it counted as enough chaos to set me free.
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