Homestuck Fandub - Alpha Kids, Trolls, and Narrator
Project Overview
We are planning on doing a full fandub of Homestuck.
Please have a clear mic and a skype. We need it to contact you for upcoming information reagrding the project.
For now we will only be casting the Alpha kids, trolls, and narrators! The others will be held in another, future call.
Have fun!!! x3
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huh is right
u know im really not sure if shes actually my mom
but i do know were totes genetically related somehow
i just think theres more to it than we know
calliope was there! callie is the coolest omg you should meet her
she said a huge villain rumble is going down tomorrow
and to get ready for that we should all become god tiers
so u have to rocket your ass to derse asnap
come w me to the moon
then what else can i talk about
like her occolt majyyks and stuff
because i dont know a whole lot about the mayjjykks
besides th fact that theyre all real as shit can get
This is very good.
It really pleases me to hear tales of physical subjugation
I presume these were lesser beings, toiling in the lower ranks of some hierarchy
D --> :33 < *The scruffy haired, saucer eyed smart alec takes issue with the tone of the girl currently posing as said hulking brute*
I command you to have free will and do as you please
And continue being bothersome and unpredictably destructive
I mean
If you want
i just needed for someone to showw a little faith in me so im sayin thanks i owwe ya
wwhat an awwful thing a you to say
MAGIC ISNT REAL STUPID STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT
this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species
and for the record
evven though i said that stuff about bein fated to find my gun
fate isnt real
its a lot of FAKE FUCKIN HORSEFEATHERS
SCR3W YOU 4ND YOUR SH1TST41NS
1 W1LL H4V3 4 FUCK1NG BL4ST 4ND YOU C4NT STOP M3
BLU3 T34M 2222222CUM >:]
OK
TRY NOT TO G3T BURN3D OR CRUSH3D TO D34TH OR 4NYTH1NG TH4T WOULD B3 4WFUL
D4V3 1 KNOW YOU 4R3 L1K3LY D1SCOMBOBUL4T3D W1TH GR13F OV3R YOUR F4LL3N M4NBRO LUSUS, BUT TH4T 1S 3XTR3M3LY S1LLY 4ND DO3SNT M4K3 4NY S3NS3
sOMEONE SAID i SHOULD GIVE MY SELF ESTEEM A NAME, aND TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT i SAY, tO MAKE SURE i DON'T HURT HIS FEELINGS,
oH, gOODNESS, tHERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON, aND THERE IS A LOT OF TROUBLE THAT YOU ARE IN, bUT, wHAT IT COMES DOWN TO IS, iS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME ANYWAY
iT'S JUST THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE THE COCK OF THE WALK'S HOT SHIT
bUT WHEN IN FACT YOU ARE NOT, mORE LIKE YOU ARE,
sOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH THE COCK OF THE WALK’S HOT SHIT,
bUT IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE COCK'S SHIT,
Not you personally. Another will. You have something more important to attend to, remember?
Very well. I will stop smothering you with surprise noodles.
I have always believed that a good storyteller should keep a comprehensive record of past events on hand. A scrapbook of personal significance, for instance, from which he may piece together current moments from past ones of a similar, if not identical nature. It's more efficient
Once again, you make the incalculable blunder of attempting to engrave an already allocated placronym. His name was etched when he turned 13 too, almost 3 years ago. It's been sitting here messily in this UNBELIEVABLY DEADLY PILE OF GUNS ever since. What sort of vulgar, childish moniker were you going to stick this poor bastard with? Barfbreath Turdsmirk? It doesn't even matter. Just tell him what to do!
You'll show that curmudgeonly Strider who's just a gigantic shitty space furry. You will show him what marvelous creatures they are. You'll show him what a daring dream it is, to combine the finest qualities of humanity with... But seriously, you have got to stop kissing this stupid poster.
You retrieve your UNBREAKABLE KATANA. A real hard sword for a real hard dude. It was said to be forged by an ancient Otaku Master over the heat of a roaring manga fire. It was cooled in an enchanted spring where virgin horses nicker and bathe, and was said could be used only by one whose pointy anime shades were deemed sweet enough, and whose hair existed in a perpetually sculpted state of looking completely fucking awesome. All of those things were said by you.
i think i mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart
we will and have already amassed an army t0 c0nfr0nt the black king
an army c0nsisting 0f 0ur alternate future selves
each 0ne rer0uted fr0m a d00med 0ffsh00t 0f the alpha timeline
each given an0ther chance at a c0nstructive influence 0ver the ultimate 0utc0me
theres no better time and there are so many corpses here to work with. is everybody ok with that? do you want to have a big corpse party? we can incinerate the remains in the sun it will be just glorious.
However...My backup reserves that i keep strictly for emergencies are running a little lean! ou know what my grandma taught me about preparedness.
Well i surely dont want to spoil any clean trousers. Even though your warning sounds a little hyperbolic i will trust you.
Um. My lord.
Heheheh when i call you that people could mistake our conversation for a nefarious and underhanded collusion among felons!
Please let me go back to earth jane! Just like it used to be! I just want to go back to my pumpkin patch in the jungle when things were simpler and all i had to worry about was being tackled by a feisty robot. I want to go back to when i didnt ruin all my friendships and when you didnt hate me and when you didnt go crazy and tell me to be your weird royal husband
WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
*Hoooornk!*
but still im kind of scared of him and i think purrhaps its best to just run it by him first so there isnt a kerfuffle about it or anything
*the distinguished pouncellor nods in the most dignified and legal of manners at the dashing and well dressed legislacerator*
*she double checks a series of impurrtant legal clawses and rubber stamps them with wild abandon for the most judicial sort of approval pawsible*
yes, i have tried to make friends with her, but so far she thinks i am just teasing her!!!!
its pretty furstrating. i will purrsevere though
are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory
why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like
i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous
and yet as much as that guys the tooliest dude i could ever hope to meet he and i would still get along famously
cause we can both see
just him and me. havin a see party. like a couple of eagle eyed bros peepin shit up into the wee hours
then we'll meet and hug bump and get each others filthy wife beaters that much filthier so yeah
But those patterns were imported from a thirteen year old version of my psyche, and then sealed into the program as starting parameters. In the years since, we've both evolved somewhat. I, as humans tend to, and he, in whatever way is natural for a frequently running, self-aware application.
Maybe he finds himself a bit overwhelmed by it all. No extra lives left or anything. Suddenly he's backed into a corner, surrounded by monsters and out of ammo. SUBSTANTIAL vulnerabilities up in here.
The kind that make a guy question what he believes about himself. When who shows up to save him? None other than his dashing client player, +1 bitchin' pair of shades that'll have the best seat in the house when the fireworks go off.
Yeah right. You've never really believed in anyone your whole life, and you know it. Everything's always about you. Don't you remember? You already had this epiphany, dingus. I could only become truly real if you ever managed to harness those bomb as shit hope powers she mentioned. Then again, if you actually did that, you wouldn't even need my help.
i don't know what's going to happen to you all once i change stuff... maybe you'll stop existing? i don't have a damn clue, to be honest.
ok, so i get to that gate and go in. then what? where does it take me? uh... further up maybe? but i haven't even built that high yet.
oh man, i must be getting closer to the conversations where you’re trolling me harder! this is pretty exciting, i can’t wait to see what you’ve got up your sleeve.
ii told you liike a biilliion tiime2 ii cant do that you nub2lurping fuckpod.
2crew you vanta2 thii2 2hiit2 more real than kraft grub2auce.
that wa2 before ii knew we were all goiing two diie. and no one beliieved me. and now look at you all. all beliieviing me 2uddenly HMM UNCANNY.
MaN yOu KnOw YoU wAnNa GiVe My HoRnS a GoOd SqUeEzE. :o)
it's time
TO GO
mother
FUCKING
kill
THEM
all.
It'S cOoL wE cOuLd AlL uP aNd MoThErFuCkIn OpEn Up A lItTlE bIt WiTh EaCh OtHeR.
lIkE bRoS.
If ThErE's StUfF yOu WaNt To GeT oFf YoUr ChEsT dUdE, lIkE i SaId I'm FuCkIn HeRe FoR a MoThErFuCkEr.
kInD oF lIkE a MiRaClE, hOw It'S aLwAyS tHeRe.
It NeVeR gOeS aWaY, yOu KnOw?
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT YET. BUT YOU ARE ABOUT TO START PASSING OUT BUNNIES LIKE THEY'RE CHEAP CIGARS. IT'S GOING TO BE AN EMBARRASSING DISPLAY.
WOW I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL THESE AMAZING CONVERSATIONS TO TAKE PLACE. IT’S GOING TO BE LIKE THAT HUMAN VACATION WITH THE GIANT RED CHIMNEY ASSHOLE UP IN HERE. YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE A BUNCH OF MOANY NOOKSUCKERS SING AT A LITTLE PINE TREE I THINK.
HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
THIS IS THE LITTLE WORD HUMANS SAY REPEATEDLY WHEN SOMETHING TICKLES THEIR ABSURDITY PALATE, RIGHT?
ok, you can go do that, and i guess i will check on rose, but...
theres still so much i want to know!
i want to know more about stoking the forge and breeding the frogs, and about your time on prospit and all that!
but he just wont wake up!!!!!
im pretty sure im supposed to be the one to wake him but i dont know what to do
yes i think that is how it works
when john connects with me he will probably get some cool new things too!
In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER.
You are neither of these things.
A bright orange flame flickers in the FIREPLACE. It doesn't matter that it's April and not terribly chilly outside. In a home, a FIREPLACE needs a fire, because that's what FIREPLACE is for. A fire BELONGS in a FIREPLACE, dammit, cata(ptcha)gorically, at all times, without exception.
You eye your birthday package again curiously. It's awfully tempting to peek inside, but you feel guilty about it for some reason, even though it's yours anyway.
It's not any sort of revelation, or statement for me to take at face value.
Dadburn it. This isn't that difficult!
And for the record, it's not great.
LET'S KISS A WHOLE LOT AND GET MARRIED! THEN LET'S HAVE BABIES!
YOU WANT TO HAVE BABIES WITH ME DON’T YOU JAKE?
When the curtains finally closed, this time, their leader would make sure everyone was standing on the right side of them.
That is to say, the side any interested onlooker would be able to witness.
Yeah ok, here we are a8out to em8ark on an espionage mission. A spying tool sounds totally useless!
Another gr8 point, captain.
Humans I'm guessing are still off limits to her influence, unless they've got some animal 8lood in them, which is what makes Jade such a dangerous element here.
I may project my voice louder than you, and 8orrow the spotlight for a little longer, 8ut you were always the soul of Team Scourge!
I couldn't 8e doing this without you. I wouldn't even want to!
Are you fretting over anot)(er one of t)(ese dumb contraptions?
And really, you just don't need me anymore. You are free to do as you wish! We both are.
I can't look after you anymore.
All I could see was what happened in your hive.
You were asleep, and then your robot exploded.
And then your lusus saved you! Kind of like mine saved me.
Before she died. 38C
Then
You Did Intend For The Plans We Made To Be A Date
Which Is To Say One That Was Romantically Oriented
I Wasnt Actually Crying Just Now I Was Exaggerating My Reaction For Effect
To Purge Each Sentence Of Punctuation And Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word
Id Be Happy To Volunteer
Strictly Professionally Of Course And Not Because I Really Want To Read Your Wizard Things Too
(I Really Want To Read Your Wizard Things Too I Hope Thats Okay)
Information hidden in the lore of our lands, concealed in ruins and riddles.
I'm looking for whatever there is to discover about the game, and more importantly, whatever exceeds its boundaries.
The cloaked traces of myth beyond its scop
Like when stalking an emperor to assassinate him.
Or befriend him.
But that's fine.
I guess the only pointless question we haven't exhausted is, why?
Why the convoluted artifice?
(drunk) Yes, tha's the POINT!
Apples are stalartingly difficulf to reproduce.
We take for granned our ability to take idealized intsances ofeven quie comlicated objects and conshure them from the void.
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