Well, I'm not the casting director, but here's a few things I'd suggest: Performance wise, it's good, a bit too breathy during the laugh, it makes it sound as if you're always running out of breath and it's quite jarring to listen to. Maybe one continuous laugh may fit better. On the technical side, you should get a pop-filter to stop all the air from buffeting your mic. If you don't have one, or can't get one, there's a method in reducing the pops. Simply put one finger to your lips as if telling someone 'ssshhh'. Make sure that the tip of your finger touches the bottom of your nose, and the rest of your hand forms a fist. This should help a little bit with the popping. You can even combine this method with the next bit. Another way is to have the mic not directly in front of you. Have it a little to the side but still pointing towards your mouth so that it catches your words, but less of the wind when you read plosive consonants. I noticed your recording is in stereo mode and your mic is catching a lot more sound on it's right side than the left. A way to remedy this and get an even output is to 'normalize' it in an audio editor. I hope this helped.