JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond Is Unbreakable (FunDub)

[Josuke is currently in denial about the fact his grandpa has passed, so a franticly scared and frustrated, getting more and more emotional as the scene goes on]

There’s no way that he’s- Just wait. He’s gonna open his eyes. My stand has always been able to heal people. I’ve done it so many times, I’ve lost track. I fixed my friend’s bones like it was nothing! Come on, grandpa! Quit messing around, okay?! Don’t tell me you’ve already passed out from last night’s shift. Enough with the jokes! This isn’t funny! Grandpa! Grandpa!

https://youtu.be/TJctkBBrx0g?t=87 

[Josuke is currently trying to give Koichi some advice about a girl that won't leave him alone, he has almost a big brother tone like a mentor]

The truth is it doesn’t matter how infatuated she is with you. If she comes to her own conclusion that you’re the most pathetic, disgusting schmuck around, then we get to go on living happily ever after, right? So all you’ve gotta do on your end is act like a total jackass whenever you’re in front of her.

https://youtu.be/wGbpi053zYU?t=67

[With this line Josuke steps out from behind Yuya and is being very intimidating then shifts to a tone of anger and frustration]

It’s me. That full-bodied odor you’re whiffing is courtesy of yours truly, you dick!

[This line is performed after punching the already injured Yuya in the leg, which results in his groupies screaming]
I don’t wanna hear a peep out of you three! You can call me Josuke Higashikata, and my stand is known as crazy diamond. I’m limited to close-range attacks, but I can assure you my punching speed is a lot faster than 60 K.M.H. I’ve never measured, but if I’m close enough, I’m sure I can get to about 300 K.M.H.

[This line is preformed after healing Yuya's Injuries with his stand crazy diamond. Josuke's tone is almost cocky, yet still very angry]
Yup, and since you’ve gotten a clean bill of health from crazy diamond,when I pound your ass into the ground, I can avoid looking like a coward, right?
[And lastly Josuke beats the hell out of Yuya with his stand crazy diamond, I want to hear your best stand cry]

https://youtu.be/yZ6u0NwwoRY?t=49

[In this scene Okyausu sees his older brother dead ensnared in telephone wires and burnt to a crisp, he is distraught and holding on to any excuse to call his brother a good person]
Bro… I knew it was only a matter of time before this happened. I knew all the bad things he did in his life would catch up to him one day, but still… in the end, my brother- my brother used his dying moments to save my life, didn’t he?! Josuke, you saw it, right?![

[Unfortunately, I could not find the scene in English, but here it is in Japanese for refrence] 
https://youtu.be/YdOsvgxnkGc?t=140

[In this scene he has the stand that killed his brother cornered, he is rather calm yet has a tone of bubbling rage burning inside him]

I didn’t. I knew who my bro was. The other shoe was gonna drop eventually. Someone was bound to snuff him out over something. That’s the thing about crime. No matter how far you try to run from it, it always has a way of catching up to you in the end. That’s painfully clear, even to a sap like me. So now for the business at hand. Tell me who your user is and where he lives. Do that, and I’ll spare your life, which is more than you deserve.

[With this line his facade breaks showing how truly angry Okuyasu is about the loss of his brother]
(growls) To be honest, I’m secretly hoping you won’t give me the info on your user! I’m itching to scrape you away, you glow-in-th-dark shit-head, so give me a reason!


[Again, I could only find the Japanese version for this scene but it should do fine for this scene]
https://youtu.be/llOni4DiNSA?t=107

[In this scene Okyuasu is speaking rather nonchalantly, and has a tone of longing for his brother as he speaks]
Oh, man, that dream was freaky as hell. I was walking around in this dark, open space when I suddenly saw this bright light. The source of that light was my brother… big bro Keicho. He asked me where I was planning to go next. I told him, “I’m going with you, big bro.” Even as snot-nosed brats, I could count on my bro. He made the best decisions, so I always knew I was in good hands. Then he said something I never expected. “You have to decide. Okuyasu, wherever you go, you are the master of your own journey.” I thought about that real hard, and, as soon as I said I was going back to Morioh, I woke up in the house. I had all sorts of sad feelings, though.

https://youtu.be/rsTBNfB0dNA?t=36

[In this scene Koichi is narrating the introduction of himself, he is in a very calm and almost cheerful tone]
It happened April of 1999, it was my first day of high school, and I was about to make two very bizarre friends. I was about to become a high schooler and I wondered what the others’d be like. In case you were wondering, my name’s Koichi Hirose, though I guess it’s not that important.

https://youtu.be/uKzA9pGWgJM?t=119

[In this scene, Koichi is being swooned by Yukako, and clearly Koichi is not happy about it as these lines are spoken in his thoughts]
As if yesterday wasn’t enough, this is definitive proof that Yukako Yamagishi is completely deranged. I’ve gotta put a stop to this, but if I take a bite, I’ll just validate her feelings, And if I refuse, she’ll kill me! What am I supposed to do?!

 https://youtu.be/lhXjwDyN8Jg?t=106

[In this scene Koichi is getting beaten by Yoshikage Kira and is a bloody mess, but seems to have discovered his name and is using what little bit of energy he has left to provoke Kira]
Hmmph... What do you know... Your name is Yoshikage Kira. You look surprised, all I did was say your name, Kira.

Don't tell me you've forgotten, you reimbursed the cafe. You couldn't have given me a better clue if I'd asked.

Yeah, believe me, I know all too well what's about to happen, but even so. If a pathetic bootlicker like me can figure out your name that easily. I guess you're not as tough as you seem to think you are, sure you might get away for the time being but you know what Kira? I bet your every thought is mocking you for letting a whiny brat unravel the mystery of your name, and if they aren't I'll do the honors for them. A mulling little highschooler just found you out! You're such a colossal dumbass! I'll be waiting for you on the other side you murder happy son of a bitch!

https://youtu.be/RpCSFwhBzqI?t=141

[Kira is backed into a corner and is truly starting to get desperate, as he begins to bleed out due to a glass missile from Josuke]
Josuke. J-Josuke! Impossible. This- This has to be some kind of mistake. How could this be happening to me? I was supposed to live a peaceful, quiet life like a flower in a tranquil field. Suffering like this was never part of the plan. I’m Yoshikage Kira, damn it! (thinking) I can’t lose heart now. Whatever happens, I must keep a cool head. It’s trying times like these that truly test your mettle. I know it seems like things can’t get any worse, but it’ll work out, just like every other time. Even though life has me backed into a corner, my wits will turn this bout of adversity into opportunity. That is what Yoshikage Kira does. It’s what he excels at. This is my world, my reality, and there’s nothing in my world that I can’t find a way to surmount.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiWk_l23feY

[Kira realizes he caught a break due to stray cat acting on it own regard and feels extremely validated when things go his way]
Stray cat! I understand. Stray cat anticipated the incoming flurry of blows and then protected itself instinctively! (thinking) It’s time! I have to make this work. Once again, adversity invites opportunity! Let’s finish them off, killer queen! Make that air bullet a bomb! Victory! It’s now an explosive, and, at this distance, your death is all but assured! With the injuries you’ve got, you don’t have the ability to avoid my attack. This is the end for you.

https://youtu.be/xJX2WcAIkdk?t=83

You can call me Yoshikage Kira. I'm currently 33 years old. Not that you'd care, but I reside in northeast Morioh's villa district. Also, I've yet to marry. In order to make a living, I work for Kame Yu department stores. After a long day's work, I return home no later than 8 PM. I don't like smoking, but do enjoy the occasional drink. I'm always in bed by 11 PM, and I make it a point to get no less than 8 hours of sleep each night. Before bed, I drink a warm glass of milk. It's always coupled with 20 minutes of stretching to decompress from the long workday. Sweet dreams are the usual result of this. I then awake as refreshed and recharged as a newborn child, ready to take on the day's challenges. And after my last checkup, I was given a clean bill of health. For as long as I could remember, I've done everything in my power to live a productive life that allows me to pursue a lasting inner peace. This may be a foreign concept, but I choose not to concern myself with winning or losing, life's troubles, or enemies who bring sleepless nights. That is how I cope with this backwards life we find ourselves living. It's what brings me happiness in a world fraught with hardship and misery. Of course, if I were ever to engage in combat, I would win the battle without question.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raw0qV5c9Rc

[In this scene, Josuke is panicking as his grandfather would not wake up after being healed by his stand Crazy diamond. Jotaro takes on the role of a father figure while trying to comfort and teach Josuke at the same time.]
Listen, Josuke. It’s said the human organism must destroy in order to survive, but your power is an unparalleled act of compassion in a brutal world. The problem is… No amount of compassion or love can bring back the dead. Not even stands have that power. I’m sorry.

https://youtu.be/TJctkBBrx0g?t=122

[In this scene Jotaro summons forth his stand to try and destroy the bomb stand sheer heart attack. Use this scene to display your best stand cry for Star Platinum "Ora"]
Star platinum!

Damn, it’s tough. I knocked it to shit, and the thing’s still in one piece.

Star platinum, bring forth the world! (clock ticking) I’d like to end this before things get ugly, so I’m disposing of you right here and now.

https://youtu.be/ugZNkvzEya4?t=16 

[In this scene Jotaro is on his last leg, but has a final stand against Kira, while being on the edge of his life never breaking that calm and collected facade]
Good Job holding down the fort Koichi... I'll take it from here

Nice watch... Go ahead and take one last at it, cause I'm about to bust it up, to be clear by "it" I mean your face.

(Jotaro falls to his knee and coughs up blood struggling a bit)

(Star Platinum emerges and punches Killer Queen letting out a single and powerful Ora)

Good freakin Greif I take it back, up close that watch looks tacky as hell. Although to be fair, I'd say that's the least of your worries now, their's something that's gonna look a lot worse than that piece of junk. And that my friend is your putrid face.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSowBFr_eo0&t=25s 

[In this scene Rohan approaches an extremely weary Koichi, Rohan plays it extremely casual and plays into Koichi's timid nature]
Now, now, you don’t have to be so defensive. My days of causing you harm are long past. Besides, after reading your history with heaven’s door, I found myself filled with a deep sense of respect for you. I’d go so far as to say we’re two peas in a pod. Wouldn’t you agree? Now then, I’d like to ask you a question if I may. You see, I used to call this area around here my home until I was four or so. I’ve spent the day trying to find my old residence. Nostalgia must have gotten the better of me. Recalling one’s childhood is central to a manga artist’s work. However, those memories belong to a four-year-old, so they’re a little bit foggy.

[Unfortunately, I was only able to find the scene in Japanese]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wj75kDtYMPQ 

[In this scene Josuke is charging towards Rohan, and Rohan reads to find Josuke's weakness is hair insults]
It seems certain comments set you off such as your hair is laughable, or wasn't that pincushion in fashion like two decades ago? Or maybe you think that hair looks cool don't you?

Here goes. You might think your hair looks cool, but in actuality,it may be the shittiest hairstyle I have the misfortune of laying eyes upon. Though to be fair, that nest upon your useless noggin may come in handy should a Pidgeon come by and decide to roost. But that's a very strong may.

Now Witness Heavens Door!

I win.

https://youtu.be/o9TZQ7mN0Vk?t=65

[In this scene, Josuke goes back to the tunnel to heal Rohan after the stand user is defeated, He acts very stuck up and snobby at the fact someone like Josuke would save his life]
Why the hell did you heal me? You’re such a moron. I would have preferred wasting away than have the likes of you save my life. I told you to run away, but, as always, you had to step right into the enemy’s trap. How do you function? By the way, you and I are even now.

https://youtu.be/yZ6u0NwwoRY?t=243

[Tomoko walks in to find Josuke playing video games rather than doing homework]
For the love of- Josuke! Are you still playing that game? If you don’t turn it off right this second, I’m gonna scream! Have it your way. The longer you play your little game, the harder these kicks are gonna get!

[Only the Japanese clip was able to be found]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXu7VytabDY 

Well there you have it Jotaro, It's pretty obvious that we're dealing with a murderous stand user. We can't just sit by and watch like spectators.

https://youtu.be/YGBvIOOedXo?t=116

Because of all of this we've had the chance to see how capable Josuke and his friends are, and there's one thing I can say with absolute certainty. The young people living in this town are one and all, and each one possesses a heart of gold. They've the same righteous hearts we witnessed on our journey to Egypt, they carry a spirit of radiance that will fight for true justice above all else. I see it in Josuke, as well as the others, Morioh's in good hands with them. As long as their here, we have nothing to worry about.

https://youtu.be/ltwuf8TSehM?t=4

[Ryohei just witnessed Tomoko smash a perverted man's face into his own car window.]
Sorry, son. Hate to say it, but you're on your own. That woman is my daughter. And, in addition to being a public nuisance, you also referred to my baby girl as a crazy bitch, so I’d watch myself if I were you. I’ll let you off with a warning, but you’re on thin ice. Got it?

https://youtu.be/pmrK5FLK7po?t=42

Let me remind you this isn’t a game Okuyasu! There was a time where the mere thought of your stand, The Hand, sent horrific chills streaking down my spine. Pull yourself together. It’s time for you to kill Angelos's murderer, Josuke Higashikata! If you don’t end him now, he’ll prove troublesome in the future

https://youtu.be/sROCfVpe8ho?t=85

[Tamami is currently using his stand to mug Koichi]
Four months ago, I crossed paths with a guy by the name of Keicho Nijimura, and he gave me a pretty handy special ability. I hadn’t a clue what was happening, but it felt great, and I figured if I put my new powers to good use, I’d never have to worry about a thing for the rest of my life. Alright, cough it up already. Being cheap means the lock stays right where it is, and you wouldn’t want that, would you?

https://youtu.be/YcNiROra1N8?t=56

Josuke Higashikata… like it or not, you’re gonna plunge that pen into Jotaro’s brain. The blunt-force trauma should kill him instantly. After all, leaving him alive isn’t really an option now, is it? Your stand would only heal him anyway. (growls) It’s your fault! Your meddling is the cause of this, Josuke! I was only gonna beat Jotaro up and chase him out of town before you involved yourself in my business! But now, Jotaro’s gonna die, and it’ll be by your hand. Live with that, you uppity ass-hat!

https://youtu.be/8i9OFSE3cps?t=66

[Yukako currently has Koichi strung up by her hair]
No need to worry. I’m here for you now. And as such, it’s my job to educate you and turn you into the ideal man. There’s something about you certain other men seem to be lacking, and it’s crucial that you live up to that potential.

https://youtu.be/2BcExMu3GXg?t=122

I so hope you like it. I spent the whole night knitting this for you, and what a relief! I knew your length and chest width, but I had to guess about the shoulders, and it fits perfectly! I made you an amulet, too. Now you can find true love. And there’s more. I also made us bento boxes, everything we need to have lunch together. I bought the shrimp at the local market this morning. You won’t find freshness like this at a grocery store. This is flounder meunire, but I made sure to remove every single bone with tweezers. Now open wide, please. Ahh

https://youtu.be/lhXjwDyN8Jg?t=69

 My role as a chef has taken me to many countries. I’ve used the flavors of my homeland and fused them with the best culinary traditions in the world. Now I’ve made my way to Japan in search of new opportunities. Your Morioh is such a magnificent town. You can find several farms with many kinds of fresh produce. Its frutte de mare are great, too. I adore it here. Using Morioh’s wonderful ingredients, I plan to make you a meal that will tickle the taste buds and delight your senses.

https://youtu.be/RVWi8_pIaEg?t=114

Hah! What a self-destructive fool. (laughs) You have my condolences.

https://youtu.be/8i9OFSE3cps?t=191

I'm evidence, 15 years ago you didn't have a stand that could make all of your victims disappear, that's why when I was murdered it was front-page news. Tell me! Does this gash on my back look familiar to you? Since I was your very first victim, maybe you forgot to cut off my hands! I guess I'm just not that memorable to you huh?!

https://youtu.be/adi9sS8ee2w?t=106

Koichi, you're very sweet, but Arnold and I have done everything we set out to accomplish here. The times come for us to leave Morioh, that's how it has to be... So Little Rohan, do you think you're gonna cry after we've gone off to the great beyond?

https://youtu.be/j4yofmqf_es?t=38

Oh wow, this is so neat! I had no clue others could see my harvest too! Hey guys! you can really see it, can't you?

https://youtu.be/J872JVA1fgc?t=160

My name is Aya Tsuji. (sighs) I’m the principal owner and aesthetician. And don’t worry. I’m not as apathetic as I sound. (sighs) I’m actually very passionate about my work. (sighs and steps forward, placing a hand on Yukako’s jaw.) Goodness. You have such a lovely face, gorgeous. To think such a striking beauty was hiding right here in little ol’ Morioh. Now then, come in, and have a seat. First, I’ll need you to fill out a form with your name and address. 

 https://youtu.be/JODII4JF1-U?t=3

Years ago, I took a trip to Egypt, where I met an old hag named Enyaba. She told me to fire this arrow at whoever it desired, for the impaled would become my ally. After the initial shock, they would witness a unique power rising up from the deep recesses of their soul. If memory serves, she referred to them as stands. Jotaro Kujo… if he and his minion arm of hit men are pursuing my dear Yoshikage, then I’ll have to create my own army, one like no other, an army of stand users. Here we are, arrow. The time’s come to select your prey. Which of these vessels do you desire? Huh? A telephone pole? Why would you want a telephone- (gasps) Wait a minute. You desire that child? So you’re telling me a child is to become the first of my new allies?

https://youtu.be/0duAMDbJaNQ

I-I can’t believe it. He took the bait, and Josuke was able to close the distance between them, now that it’s close-quarter combat, this’ll be over in no time! Josuke definitely has the upper hand, but if Kira so much as grazes him, he’ll turn him into a human bomb! And if that wasn’t bad enough, that explosion from earlier really damaged Jokuke’s leg and side. He shouldn’t even be able to stand right now. What are we gonna do?

https://youtu.be/qrwb6mcXKk0?t=17

When I told him about the cat's curse, he told me it was just a figment of my imagination brought on by fear, and that I should get some rest. I can't believe it, I fainted right in front of him, how embarrassing! But he was nice enough to stay home and look after me even though it made him late for work. It was like a dream, it felt like he understood me for the first time ever... This has been the most blissful morning of my life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BklWKW_igrA

We’re only in this situation because I discovered the tower. As for this, it’s my fault for deciding to turn into the power line and climb up here. I only wanted to be useful. I wanted to change your opinion and for you to be proud of me. I should have just listened to Okuyasu. I should have stayed out of it. Don’t trouble yourselves. I am used to the inside of a spaceship, so this is really quite nice. 

 https://youtu.be/JkKytYxHdAs?t=39

I hit the nail on the head. And what’s this? Someone in here is getting really pissed off. (sniffs) When agitated, the body produces adrenaline, and one of you girls has discharged quite the pungent secretion. Are you the grumpy Gertrude, Reiko, dear?

https://youtu.be/yZ6u0NwwoRY?t=9

You just stay away from me! I know by now you’ve heard that my back has been broken to pieces! My arms and legs are fractured, too! I can’t even roll over to scratch my ass! Are you really gonna slap around a feeble, bedridden hospital patient? All right, I admit it. I was a jerk. But if you let me go, I’ll free the guy in the tunnel. I think he’s still alive, though it certainly wouldn’t hurt to give him some nutrients. So do we have a deal or what? 

 https://youtu.be/yZ6u0NwwoRY?t=113

 Look, It’s Josuke! Your hair is looking glorious as ever!

Really just improvize here.

 If you don’t hurry, You’re gonna be late for school.

This guy has no idea the beast he’s just released.

Just Improvize here!

 Let’s go to class together.

Ooh, this isn’t good

Just improvize here.

Easy now. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you can’t be serious about killing me. Okay, I admit it, I escaped that hellhole called death row. And, sure, I may have been found guilty under Japanese law, but you guys have no right to do anything to me! Josuke, let’s be frank. Yeah, I murdered your grandpa, but that doesn’t mean you can put me to death, too! If you kill me, you’ll end up cursed just like yours truly, so back off if you know what’s good for you!

https://youtu.be/d1lSCW5Jtyw?t=20

No! I refuse to live life under the shadow of your stupid writing. It’d be worse than death. I won’t let you play around in my head! Got it? I’d rather jump in front of this giant truck! Live with that, Rohan!

https://youtu.be/VEZL-rxSffk?t=61

(growls) We’ve moved on now to a war of words! You didn’t really beat me in that match! You’re nothing but a lowdown cheat and a coward!

https://youtu.be/VEZL-rxSffk?t=8

Props, friend. Mending the wire to swing up here was ingenious, but coming back to this tower was not the smartest move you could have made. I would have been perfectly content leaving this place behind. In fact, killing you pigheaded boobs never crossed my mind, but you just had to go and force my hand! So now, for me to make my getaway, I have no other choice but to push you to your death!

https://youtu.be/JkKytYxHdAs?t=118

Hmm? Yuya Fungami, eh? Who knew a simple nose would be such a nuisance? I never dreamed these fools would sniff me out, as it were. Either way, releasing Josuke’s mother was all part of the plan, the perfect plan to observe Josuke. Observation. (chuckles) That’s what my stand, misterioso, does best. Misterioso meticulously observed Koichi Hirose’s movements, as well as your mother’s.

https://youtu.be/los7ri5VWbs?t=99

Good afternoon, sir. I’m Kinoto, the architect you spoke on the phone with earlier today. I’m here to assess the fire restoration and renovation.

https://youtu.be/v_Mrj4WjsMI?t=4